#6 – Influence is Proportional to Trust

For many reasons, you may try to influence others. Generally speaking, your ability to influence others is proportional to their trust in you. 

If others trust you, they are more likely to do, say, and think the things you want them to. If others have a neutral view of you, you are probably not going to be influential one way or another. However, if others greatly distrust you, they may even do the opposite of what you want them to. Your influence is both proportional to and downstream of others’ trust in you. 

I made this observation as an assistant youth sports coach. The head coach I worked with did not have the trust of the kids. He was much older than the kids, not a particularly consistent communicator, and a father of three of the kids on the team. I was much closer in age to the kids and enjoyed making an individual connection with each of them before and after each practice. This meant that the kids trusted me more than the head coach.

When it was time to get the kids to do something, I had significantly more influence over the kids than the head coach. Whether it was encouraging them to act a certain way that was admirable, or letting them know that they could improve their attitude, the kids wanted to listen and react to the information I gave them. Furthermore, the kids anticipated what I wanted them to do even before I said anything. They actively wanted to satisfy my requests so baldly that they attempted to guess what I was going to say next. I had so much influence over the kids that they did what they knew would make me happy without me having to say.

The head coach was in a constant battle. He always had to tell kids to focus and listen. The kids disobeyed his requests, and there were headaches all around. Most importantly, it required much more effort by the head coach to keep the kids in line than I needed to gain the kids’ trust. If he spent more time gaining the trust of the kids, consequentially he would be able to spend significantly less time trying to keep them behaving.

If you intend to influence or persuade others, trust must come first. Then, keep building and maintaining trust as needed. With more trust, you have more influence. 

10/29/2024 – Salt Lake City, Utah